By day, I stalk the streets of downtown Austin, Texas practicing law as an estate planning attorney.
Unlike the fictionalized versions of attorneys we've come to know, love, and sometimes loathe, estate planning attorneys spend a majority of their time drafting, editing, reviewing, revising, and executing documents. What do our documents do? For the most part, we help our clients get all of their ducks in a row for when the client, or someone the client loves, curls up and dies.
Yawn...or ick. Maybe both. Either way, there's not much in the way of comfort with this particular subject.
It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday
At the core of the practice lies and understanding that dying sucks for the bereaved. The death of a loved one catalyzes a perfect storm of anguish and woe for those left behind. However, a wise decedent can help mitigate some of his or her loved ones' frustrations through proper planning for the big send off. To that end, an adequate estate plan takes into consideration tax implications, creditor claims, liquidity, spendthrifts, evil step-relatives, and so on.
But in my opinion, the best estate plans provide handsomely for the first step of the journey: the funeral.
But in my opinion, the best estate plans provide handsomely for the first step of the journey: the funeral.
What about setting aside money to pay for the backyard kegger / wake thrown in your honor after your funeral? Or what about scheduling a rocket ship to blast your urn into the farthest reaches of the galaxy immediately following the eulogy? To me, those are the estate planning maneuvers that make the best delivery of your final 'I'm gonna miss you' to your friends and loved ones.
As an estate planning attorney, I often ponder the effectiveness of my own estate plan, funeral arrangements included. So while I continue to tweak the design to my haunted house roller coaster funeral parlor theme park, I do have one component of my funeral covered - the music.
While I'll most likely request that the stereo be turned up and the music library set to 'shuffle,' the following songs are my top ten 'Must be played because I'm dead' songs. So pay attention, or I'll find a way to come back and haunt your ass:
I'm Dead, Please Play Me Playlist
1) Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World - for all of the things in life towards which I felt positive and grateful...like sunshine, rainbows, and the sound of golf cleats walking on concrete.
2) Faith No More - A Small Victory - for all of things in life towards which I felt less than positive, yet nonetheless overcame...like law school, learning that there really is no Santa Claus, and getting arrested.
3) The Beatles - In My Life - for all of my friends and loved ones, living and deceased. I hope to see each and every one of you again someday.
4) Nirvana - All Apologies - for any one I've ever pissed off or disappointed. Sorry, y'all.
5) Radiohead - Street Spirit (Fade Out) - while this is a great song, I'm mainly including this to attempt appeasing any elitist assholes who will deduct points for any of the other nine songs featured on this list.
6) The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Castles Made of Sand - even if we all melt into the sea eventually, it'll all work out in the end. You'll see.
7) Metallica - Fade to Black - just in case in members of Metallica decide to show up.
8) Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah - just in case there really is a god...and he / she was watching the whole time.
9) Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence - just because I'm dead doesn't mean my survivors should stop feeling sexy.
10) 311 - Waiting - for my best friend and soulmate...and in case any members of 311 show up. Once again, you can never be too careful.
10) 311 - Waiting - for my best friend and soulmate...and in case any members of 311 show up. Once again, you can never be too careful.
Honorable Mentions: Anything by 6 Feet Under, anything by Megadeth, Knocking on Heaven's Door, The End, Stairway to Heaven, Say Hello 2 Heaven, Tears in Heaven, Heaven Isn't Too Far Away, Up in Heaven (Not Too Far From Here), How the Gods Kill.
I realize that this list may evolve over the years, and i realize that no matter what winds up on the final cut, not all of my attendees will be pleased with the music I will have chosen for the occasion. Therefore, as a back up plan, I'm also going to request that a "This is Spinal Tap" screening room and a karaoke bar be set up as well.
But enough about me. I want to hear what you think. What would your funeral march sound like? Feel free to share your thoughts, talk shit, whatever.
In the meantime, enjoy all there is in luck, life, and love. See you at the end of the road (which is hopefully many many years from now).
But enough about me. I want to hear what you think. What would your funeral march sound like? Feel free to share your thoughts, talk shit, whatever.
In the meantime, enjoy all there is in luck, life, and love. See you at the end of the road (which is hopefully many many years from now).
-A
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